This Is My Thesis, Man! My Closing Argument!

A million thanks to Sara for finding this - she's such a gem for remembering my distaste for her home state, as well as my fascination with ninjas in the news. Thus, I was downright giddy to receive and scribble all over the following story:

Georgia Hates Fat People

Apparantly feeling it has done all it can do hating black people, Georgia has moved on to victimizing the overweight. Awesome.

I swear to you, when I scour the news for things to comment upon, I do not look for Georgia-related material. It's just that ridiculous headlines catch my eye, and apparantly Georgia is good at being ridiculous. (For Example, and Example.)

Check it out, with my comments in red:




Now, kids, the obilgatory public service announcement:

Georgia Reinvigorates My Gag Reflex

Oh, man, Georgia has done it again. I'm telling you, there is no need to ever travel to this cesspool.

First, it was the first integrated prom this past spring. Parents may have feared interracial sex at that event, but now they have something greater to fear: their third-grade sons gang-raping the local middle-school hottie.

As homage to the great gods of journalism, I first implore you to read the original article.

Then, feel free to view this twisted event as I do:

And, as part of my continued efforts to keep you safe, here is another informational reference handout:

Keep yourselves, and your daughters, safe - stay out of Georgia.

My Disgust Runneth Over

Every once in a while, I read something in the news that really frightens me. I mean, more than the everyday indications that Hell will soon be on Earth, as the ice caps melt and Iraq & Iran boil over into World War III.

Today, I was horrified by an article I saw on CNN.com, which I had been trying to ignore since yesterday. I admit I can believe this is how things are in parts of the United States, but it saddens me to witness it. I couldn't help but jot down some thoughts as I read:

(click the pics to see full screen)




After reading, I had to find the location of this backward little hellhole of a redneck cesspool. As I suspected, it's at least 150 miles from anything even resembling civilization. God help me if I ever break down along I-75.