I had a bizarre dream last night. I was roaming a high school during a lunch period. At a table in the corner of the cafeteria, two people I knew were selling Girl Scout Cookies. One was my old boss, who I will call Hank, and the other was a fellow intern from that job/internship, who I will call Beth.
Hank was standing in front of the table hawking the Girl Scout Cookies like a 1930's carny, and Beth was sitting behind the table taking the cash and handing out the products.
Like anyone with a soul, I love Samoas. They're fabulous. This is important to the story.
So, I walked up and Hank said "Buy some Girl Scout Cookies, man. They're awesome."
Happy to oblige and get my annual Samoas fix, I prepared myself to purchase two wonderful boxes thereof. However, upon inspection of the table, I found no boxes of cookies. Instead, there were only piles of plastic tubes, with a display of sample bowls of each flavor of cookie in front of them.
I asked Beth what was going on with the Girl Scout Cookies, and she explained that the company had decided to reformat this year, to be a bit more "hip" in its selection of snack foods. As such, all the Girl Scout Cookies were now "nibble-sized." In each of the sample bowls was a pile of different Girl Scout Cookies, mashed to crumbs.
I did not want that filth. I wanted Samoas, and I told her so in no uncertain terms.
But then, Beth and Hank started pushing the crumb piles on me like mean teenagers in an after-school special. They were full of "C'mon, everyone's doing it," and "What are you, chicken?" They pressed me so hard that I even considered just buying the junk, until I noticed that there were none in Samoa flavor. Not even Samoa crumbs!!!
I had had enough. I stormed to the other side of the cafeteria, where my brother was sitting at a table. I told him all about Hank and Beth being mean to me, and I described their sub-standard Girl Scout Cookie selection. Like me, my brother is very particular about his food, so I knew he would understand. But in response, he merely slid a bowl of Tagalong crumbs across the table toward me. Seeming to stare straight through me, he said in a detached and emotionless voice, "Just try them, man. They're really good. You don't need any Samoas."
Completely defeated and despondent, I just shook my head and sighed.
Like anyone with a soul, I love Samoas. They're fabulous. This is important to the story.
So, I walked up and Hank said "Buy some Girl Scout Cookies, man. They're awesome."
Happy to oblige and get my annual Samoas fix, I prepared myself to purchase two wonderful boxes thereof. However, upon inspection of the table, I found no boxes of cookies. Instead, there were only piles of plastic tubes, with a display of sample bowls of each flavor of cookie in front of them.
I asked Beth what was going on with the Girl Scout Cookies, and she explained that the company had decided to reformat this year, to be a bit more "hip" in its selection of snack foods. As such, all the Girl Scout Cookies were now "nibble-sized." In each of the sample bowls was a pile of different Girl Scout Cookies, mashed to crumbs.
I did not want that filth. I wanted Samoas, and I told her so in no uncertain terms.
But then, Beth and Hank started pushing the crumb piles on me like mean teenagers in an after-school special. They were full of "C'mon, everyone's doing it," and "What are you, chicken?" They pressed me so hard that I even considered just buying the junk, until I noticed that there were none in Samoa flavor. Not even Samoa crumbs!!!
I had had enough. I stormed to the other side of the cafeteria, where my brother was sitting at a table. I told him all about Hank and Beth being mean to me, and I described their sub-standard Girl Scout Cookie selection. Like me, my brother is very particular about his food, so I knew he would understand. But in response, he merely slid a bowl of Tagalong crumbs across the table toward me. Seeming to stare straight through me, he said in a detached and emotionless voice, "Just try them, man. They're really good. You don't need any Samoas."
Completely defeated and despondent, I just shook my head and sighed.
