You Can't Make This Stuff Up

OK, this is for real. Honest.

Apparently, the other night, two chicks dressed as ninjas - you heard me right, fucking ninjas - robbed a suburban Pittsburgh gas station convenience store at - you guessed it - swordpoint.

I don't even know where to begin.

Part of me wants to up and announce that I'm moving back to Pittsburgh so I can be where the coolest crime EVER occurs. Ninjas are no longer reserved for kung fu blood feuds and mega-corporation private armies! Now they're part of mainstream crime!

Another part of me muses that, if we must endure one of the most violent societies in the world, at least the violence is getting interesting. I knew a kid in high school who just told the guy with a gun that he wasn't going to give him the money. Seriously. "Classic" gas station robberies are so 20th Century.

And, of course, the established press didn't fail to make me laugh my ass off about this one, so I've made comments, below. I'm sure you're sick of my chicken scratch, so this time I Photoshopped it in with red text.

First, read the original article, here.

'Tis the Creepy Season

With the approach of Halloween, I got to thinking this morning about the video for "Tear You Apart" by She Wants Revenge. I don't know exactly why, but it makes me think of old horror movies with werewolves and vampires.



I love those scary fall nights.

Tedium...and Talent?

Well, the summer interns have left my office, and so fall has arrived. I'd like to think they got something valuable out of their time with us, but I'm not so sure. I just found a notepad tucked in a desk drawer, with something left by one of our little friends.

It's kind of a photo essay of his internship, I think. Moreover, I think it might be a photo essay of many people's work experience:

Maybe he's into sailing. Then again, maybe he'd just like to sail away from the copier.

Ah, daydreaming about the female intern across the hall. I think my boss was having daydreams, too, but his drawings of him with her weren't quite so G-rated.

Also, what's the deep terrible significance of crossing her out? Maybe she snubbed him.

Staring into space. Inner space. I stared at my desk phone like this last Friday. Hell of a hangover.

And the coup de gras. I knew I liked this kid.

This drawing speaks to me on so many levels. It's that guy who calls every day from vacation. It's a humerous image of ridiculous notion. It's a commentary that the grass is always greener. Whatever it is, I'm impressed.

When I was bored at my internship, I Googled myself. This kid put some thought into passing the tedium. If he ever starts a business, I'm investing.