OK, this is for real. Honest.
Apparently, the other night, two chicks dressed as ninjas - you heard me right, fucking ninjas - robbed a suburban Pittsburgh gas station convenience store at - you guessed it - swordpoint.
I don't even know where to begin.
Part of me wants to up and announce that I'm moving back to Pittsburgh so I can be where the coolest crime EVER occurs. Ninjas are no longer reserved for kung fu blood feuds and mega-corporation private armies! Now they're part of mainstream crime!
Another part of me muses that, if we must endure one of the most violent societies in the world, at least the violence is getting interesting. I knew a kid in high school who just told the guy with a gun that he wasn't going to give him the money. Seriously. "Classic" gas station robberies are so 20th Century.
And, of course, the established press didn't fail to make me laugh my ass off about this one, so I've made comments, below. I'm sure you're sick of my chicken scratch, so this time I Photoshopped it in with red text.
First, read the original article, here.
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