What I Learned - Or Hypothesized - This Holiday Season

This holiday season, as the merriment of Christmas approached, I took a couple of hours for the annual December viewing of what may be my favorite movie EVER; Scrooged.

Why do I love Scrooged? The reasons vary from viewing to viewing, but one that remains a constant is its wealth of hilarious quips and retorts from Bill Murray's character, Frank Cross.

Much like DanAkroyd's Roman Craig character in The Great Outdoors, Frank Cross is a complete asshole despite enromous pressure to become the good person we all know he'll become in the end. Half the treat, I think, is seeing just how unabashedly obnoxious he can be.

Along the way, we laugh as Frank crumples up a picture on his assistant's wall, drawn by her son, calling it crap because Mrs. Claus has 11 fingers.

We chuckle as Frank responds "Oh yeah, name one!" to the Ghost of Chritmas Past's assertion that garden slug have gotten more out of life than him.

And we don't even know just how to laugh as he barks at his ex-girlfriend Claire that if she needs turkeys, she could call the A&P, which she can look up in the phone book: "Look it up under A, and if it's not there, look it up under P!"

In one of the most unforgettable exchanges of the film, he tells Claire to fire her employees. When she tells him they're volunteers, he barks, "That is because they are incomptent; no one will pay them." Ever the warm heart, Claire attempts to sooth Frank with a reminder that it is Christmas. Nonplussed, Frank continues his tirade, "They are like this every day of the year, I guarantee it!"

Speaking of tirades, I'll get off of mine about how good the movie is - you've likely seen it, and if you haven't, this will hardly inspire you. However, whether you have seen it or not, I encourage you to watch it soon, because I have noticed something interesting about Scrooged.

I believe that the writers of this cheesy 80's feel-good Christmas comedy laced the film with an interesting subtext - that perhaps Frank Cross becomes a better person by experiencing a series of alcohol-induced hallucinations.

Think about it. Frank Cross experiences this film over the course of about 36 hours, during the entirety of which he is drinking heavily.

First, Frank has a meeting with his staff where he runs the "Manson Family Christmas Special" Scrooge promo. At the end of the meeting, he downs a glass of liquor as his boss approaches his office. Later that evening, Frank is again seen drinking vodka when he has a run-in with the ghost of his old boss. At the end of that run-in, however, Frank's office returns from destroyed shambles to pristine condition.

The next morning, Frank is seen taking breakfast in his office, where the drink was all-too-likely spiked from his bar, mere feet away. He then heads to lunch with his boss, where he orders a highball (Whiskey and carbonated water). While he never quite gets the highball down, perhaps his psyche triggered at that drink, whereupon Frank once again began hallucinating, seeing a waiter in flames and then encountering the Ghost of Christmas Past.

It is here important to note that upon Frank's later reappearance in reality seems to spark no great surprise to those around him, even though he seems to materialze in the middle of a crowded soundstage. Likely, this is because he walked in while still delusional.

As the movie wears on and reaches its climax, Frank is seen confined to his office and mixing a Stoli with 3 drops of Tab, clearly after a large number of drinks before it. It is then that he experiences his most intense and terrifying vision - with the Ghost of Christmas Future, where he imagines his own cremation while alive in his casket.

Perhaps it's far-fetched, and maybe I've just seen it too many times, but Scrooged can definitely be interpreted as a metaphor for alcohol induced delerium. Don't get me wrong, though - such a deep view of this shallow movie doesn't make it any more artistically redeeming, but it also doesn't make it any less hilarious.

Hope yours was a great Christmas/Hanukah, and hope you're enjoying your New Year.